fullman

Forget about surveys and exit polls. They’re not that reliable. They make you happy, they make you feel dejected, but once the votes are cast, it’s all about waiting and counting (and of course, eternal vigilance). Here, where election-wise the only thing sophisticated is cheating, you suffer if you let exit polls and surveys to rule your life. It’s death by caffeine.

Everyone at the HQ is restless, of course, but no one has a choice: this is really how votes are counted in the Philippines. S-l-o-w. It is like sending radio signals to space and waiting for Martians to reply with the visual binary equivalent of “d2 na us! takbo na u!”. The only one quick to count is Garci, who surprisingly conceded defeat in a fight for a congressional seat in Bukidnon vs. the Acostas. Oh Manny, please learn from Garci.

While waiting for the COMELEC and NAMFREL to hurdle the first 1% of the party-list votes, I’ve been thinking about Filipinos who voted with their conscience. In the Darwinian scheme of things, discerning voters are being pushed to extinction by the sheer lack of choice: you end up voting for traditional politicians like the Acostas or Zubiris or the Antoninos to prevent the likes of Garci and Manny Pacquiao from getting into Congress. Many of my friends voted for Ang Kapatiran bets, candidates who clearly belong to the Christian right, simply because they want to fill up the entire 12 senatorial slots. What’s more tragic is that Ang Kapatiran is expected to get the so-called ‘protest votes’. I didn’t vote for Ang Kapatiran, but I voted for Hans Palacios in my congressional district even if I know absolutely nothing about him. That’s the price I need to pay simply because I don’t want Nanette Daza, the quintessential trapo, to win again.

I’ve also been thinking about what I should do with Palparan’s phone number, which, for reasons that I can’t disclose yet (er, they are purely legal), I got from friends in the media. It’s now stored in my directory, and I should delete it really, but because of its novelty – it’s Palparan’s number naman, right? – I really want to keep it for a while.

I just don’t know what to do with it. Help me decide. Maybe I should I text him, “d2 na me, wer na u?”. Or maybe, “hu u?”. I wonder what he would he say?

I can also use this opportunity to implement Oplan PP: “Sir, congressman, gusto me invyt u sana 2 judge ms. gAy T0nd0. 2 days po itow, 107 contestants, sampung ms. Thailand, 45 ang ms. India, at 11 ang ms. bantay party-list. Kau po ang bahala sa 1st round ng elimination, libre naman pow ang burial dahil may palibing na project si mayor. Txtback asap.”

Whenever I feel bad, though, or when I see Pet Albano of Team Unity frothing in the mouth, or Raul Lambino denying that he is not a factotum from Malacanang out to sneak into the House of Representatives, I try to be less facetious about it and re-think how I should use Palparan’s number.

After all, it doesn’t really cost more than P1 to tell him, “Mahiya naman kayo. Ilabas nyo na si Jonas!”.