fullman*

A year ago, a friend living in the US sent a small box of downloaded gay porn videos. He sent it via post, also known as snail mail, so it arrived two months later. As a security precaution, he labeled it “Family photos.”

Sending mails via regular post to the Philippines is pretty simple. To approximate a medical term, there’s a window period: you have to wait from two weeks to two months before you actually get to see the mail. The bulkiness of the mail is directly proportional to the possibility that the mail would be opened. If the mail contains a much-needed book that you ordered online, expect to pay fees, taxes, etc., such that you’d end up paying more than the cost of the purchase itself. If it is a magazine and has the word ‘lesbian’ or ‘gay’ on it, then consider it gone, confiscated in the name of the Holy See. If they found out that it contains gay porn, pray hard to St. Sean Cody or to the Patron of Brother Bel Ami that a more pressing matter, say a revolution or anthrax in a mail, would catch their attention.

When I finally got the notice that there’s a package that needs to be picked up at the post office, I instantly panicked. What if they already opened the box? What if they knew that the CDs do not contain photos of our Christmas family get together but of hunks wearing Santa’s hat and nothing else? And the men, oh the men, weren’t actually greeting each other “Merry Christmas!” but were actually saying, almost inaudibly, “Harder, oh yes, harder!”?

It turned out that the box was intact. It restored my faith in our postal office a little bit, but it didn’t make feel less uncomfortable. True enough, after signing the logbook and before handing over the box, the old lady in Window No. 6 shook the box and asked, “Ano bang laman nito?”

I wanted to be truthful, but it would probably give the lady a heart attack. So I just said, “Pictures po.” When I finally got the box, it took me three steps to leave the building and get into a cab.

So there goes my porn story. Don’t ask me what happened to the CDs or where they are, since I am a guy who knows how to share his bliss. And to the person who sent the box, I am eternally grateful.

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During the holiday break I went to a party of gay bloggers, some of them I’ve included in my blogroll. I must say that they were pretty helpful during the Pride March, posting teasers and similar announcements about TFP’s community events. We are very much grateful.

Learning how many Filipino gay bloggers there are (and to have an idea, click here) reminds me of a term that a friend uses to describe Filipino gay men: “Boularette.” The root word is bula (soap bubble or sud), ambilis kasi dumami ng mga bakla, konting kusot lang.