fullman*

There are many ways to skin a cat. If you have “same-sex attraction”, here are some tips on how to cure that ungodly desire:

1. Cover the naked body of the crucified Jesus. He’s good-looking, compassionate, very much into equality and therefore pro-gay, and sinew. It really gives the wrong impression.

2. Ban products that are known to cause homosexuality. Prohibit the sale and use of fabric softeners; a friend claims that they literally make us soft. Stop the use of fertilizers. It is quite known that Masagana rice led to the spread of homosexuality in rural areas.

3. Target the role models. No more Ate Shawie, Ate Vi, Manilyn Reynes, and Coney Reyes. Scrap animation shows that encourage homosexuality – teletubbies, Flying House, Superbook, Superfriends, Superman and Master Showman. Actually, ban Kuya Germs.

4. Impose an “Ever-present father, absent mother” policy. Encourage abusive fathers – the lazy variety, those who treat homosexuality as a simple “lalaki ka ba o sirena?” question. Gag mothers, and keep them in kitchens.

5. Scrap number 4. That’s being done by the Catholic church already.

6. Close that school that promotes ‘Man for others’. Father naman, yun na yun eh.

If everything else fails, then try Pro-life’s seminar on curing SSA. Not my words, but hey, enjoy.

PRO-LIFE PHILIPPINES FOUNDATION, INC. invites all to attend the Pro-Life Seminar Series for August titled WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE TELLS YOU “I’M GAY” This talk deems to answer questions related to families confronted with the homosexual issue most popular today. With the proliferation of the homosexual culture in mass media, our young people are increasingly exposed to a stronger promotion of this so-called “alternative lifestyle.” How does the family handle this growing situation? What should be the attitude of parents and siblings and well-meaning friends when their loved one/s reveals their tendency towards same-sex attractions (SSA)? This seminar also aims at helping the homosexual person understand the roots of his/her SSA, and hopefully be able to influence him/her to embrace a path of chastity and change. Mr. Rolando Delos Reyes II of Courage Philippines will be facilitating the talk. An open forum comes after each of the speaker’s discussion. The seminar is slated on a Saturday, August 21, 2010 from 8:00 AM to 12:00 PM at the St. Paul University, 680 Pedro Gil St., Malate 1004 Manila. A registration fee of P 300.00 includes one snack, one seminar kit, and a certificate of participation signed by the organizers. For reservations or more information, please call Ellen at 733-7027. Or, you may send us a telefax at 734-9425; a text through mobile# 0919-2337783; or an email at life@prolife.org.ph. Visit our website at www.prolife.org.ph