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Archive for the ‘Coming Out’ Category

Thank you for the letters. The response to the article made me realize that a 3,000-character piece on coming out could never encompass the space and stories inside the closet – the agony/ecstasy of desire, unrequited love (and how, as a friend once told me, we latch on it as if that’s the only meaningful and acceptable love), and the occasional sneaking out, slip ups, that make us nervous, that make us laugh.

Some of you have confessed of the hardship of coming out. One reader told me that he never succumbed to the temptations of gay sex, and now that he’s 66 years old, he has decided to just let things be, and focus on taking care of his 96-year old mother. Some closets are made for forever, and we cannot pass judgement on why others can come out while some can’t. Some letters expressed hopefulness, a solidarity of sort, a wish that one day others could also make the leap. Read the rest of this entry »

Just sharing a coming out article I wrote for the PDI’s Sunday Inquirer Magazine.

First Person: Smashing Closets, Opening Doors

I WAS a little brash when I came out. It happened in 1998, on my last year in UP Diliman, when I was madly in love with another gay man. It was unrequited, but love made it easier to smash the closet: I simply dropped the news to my college friends, then attended my first Pride March, and even managed to blurt out “Oh by the way, I am gay” during my talk for freshman orientation.

Coming out, I was euphoric and had complete disregard for what others would think. That year, I brought my first lover to a family reunion. We were discreet, and thought that nobody noticed. Nobody did, actually, except for one lola who, months later, showed the reunion pictures to my parents and said, “Yan ang boyfriend ng anak n’yo! (That’s your son’s boyfriend!)” Read the rest of this entry »