Filed under religion

Rep. Abante’s ‘Act of God’

Rep. AbanteToday, Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante, a Baptist Pastor-turned-legislator, pious and close to God, delivered a speech to declare that the Ondoy tragedy is an Act of God.

I would not debate on the issue of God and disasters. I won’t even go into this ‘holier-than-thou’ stance and claims that our so-called wicked ways led to this divine punishment. What I do know is that storms are getting deadlier because of climate change, a phenomenon caused by humans, by our lifestyle. From what I see, too,  garbage – plastics, in particular – clogged the Metro’s drainage, waterways, & creeks, and thus aggravating this problem.

But I will tell you more about Rep. Abante. Talk to him and you’d get the sense that he  seriously believes that he’s the voice of God, to the point that he treats his flatulence as a wisp of the Holy Ghost. He can silence you (Oh, that he did to several LGBT activists in a hearing of the House human rights committee), and he struts as if the post-deluge sun shines from his bottom.  His breath smells of incense.

Rep. Abante used to be the Chair of Congress’ Human Rights Committee. He blocked the passage of an anti-discrimination bill that protects the rights of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. He’s also rabidly against the Reproductive Health Bill. As the current chair of the Committee on Information in Congress, he  also championed a pro-censorship measure, the Right of Reply Bill.

For all his piety, he was put in the Hall of Shame of Human Rights Watch, a prestigious international human rights NGO based in New York.

But look – Rep. Abante may be close to God, but he’s no Noah. So when the floodwater was rising in Manila, when hundreds of families in his district were scampering to find floating devices, a Philippine Coast Guard rubber boat was reportedly deployed to fetch Rep. Abante’s son and his barkada in Philippine Columbian Sports Club in Paco, Manila.

That must be the so-called ‘Act of God’ that Rep. Abante is talking about, the one he’s really familiar with – when public officials play god, and use their power to push for their own interests over the survival of the people.

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Rep. Abante's 'Act of God'

Rep. AbanteToday, Manila Rep. Bienvenido Abante, a Baptist Pastor-turned-legislator, pious and close to God, delivered a speech to declare that the Ondoy tragedy is an Act of God.

I would not debate on the issue of God and disasters. I won’t even go into this ‘holier-than-thou’ stance and claims that our so-called wicked ways led to this divine punishment. What I do know is that storms are getting deadlier because of climate change, a phenomenon caused by humans, by our lifestyle. From what I see, too,  garbage – plastics, in particular – clogged the Metro’s drainage, waterways, & creeks, and thus aggravating this problem.

But I will tell you more about Rep. Abante. Talk to him and you’d get the sense that he  seriously believes that he’s the voice of God, to the point that he treats his flatulence as a wisp of the Holy Ghost. He can silence you (Oh, that he did to several LGBT activists in a hearing of the House human rights committee), and he struts as if the post-deluge sun shines from his bottom.  His breath smells of incense.

Rep. Abante used to be the Chair of Congress’ Human Rights Committee. He blocked the passage of an anti-discrimination bill that protects the rights of lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders. He’s also rabidly against the Reproductive Health Bill. As the current chair of the Committee on Information in Congress, he  also championed a pro-censorship measure, the Right of Reply Bill.

For all his piety, he was put in the Hall of Shame of Human Rights Watch, a prestigious international human rights NGO based in New York.

But look – Rep. Abante may be close to God, but he’s no Noah. So when the floodwater was rising in Manila, when hundreds of families in his district were scampering to find floating devices, a Philippine Coast Guard rubber boat was reportedly deployed to fetch Rep. Abante’s son and his barkada in Philippine Columbian Sports Club in Paco, Manila.

That must be the so-called ‘Act of God’ that Rep. Abante is talking about, the one he’s really familiar with – when public officials play god, and use their power to push for their own interests over the survival of the people.

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Dear Bishop X

When you announced the other day that Bishops do not need sex education and that you actually have your sex education program, I instantly got a hard on. There’s nothing like listening to a man of cloth explaining the birds and the bees and the miraculous babies to arouse me instantaneously.

In high school, I got bored with flip charts showing the fallopian tube, the vans deferens (duh!), and all these organs. But with bees and birds – dude, my dear Bishop, I get the point. It’s so raw that it gets me off – no need to commit premarital sex, or in my case the dreaded immoral, infernal homosexual sex – and I do get the message instantaneously: the birds shouldn’t get the bees, they should get married first and promise to each other that the bird won’t eat the bee and bee won’t sting the bird. Commitment before the stomach. See? Continue reading

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Gay sex and the Catholic Church

Monsignor Achilles Dakay of the Archdiocese of Cebu blames ‘gay sex’ as the real culprit behind the so-called Cebu rectal surgery scandal. All I can say to Father Dakay is this: Father, there’s a whole world of gay sex taking place in your parish, perhaps even within your parish church. All you have to do is open your eyes. Where else did those erotic fantasies about priests and sacristans come from?

I wonder, after calling gay sex unnatural and perverse, what does ‘gay sex’ conjure in the mind of Father Dakay? Does the idea of oral sex between men evoke images of Dementors? Does he believe that we are all predisposed to get motel rooms that are, by some evil design, all numbered 666? It would probably surprise our dear Father Dakay to discover that when we have sex on the floor, we don’t do it inside a huge drawing of the pentagram, surrounded by candles. We don’t do a Linda Blair or an Emily Rose when we cum either; when that happens, please be assured, Father Dakay, that I’d be the first to request for an exorcism. Continue reading

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