fullman*

Thank you for the letters. The response to the article made me realize that a 3,000-character piece on coming out could never encompass the space and stories inside the closet – the agony/ecstasy of desire, unrequited love (and how, as a friend once told me, we latch on it as if that’s the only meaningful and acceptable love), and the occasional sneaking out, slip ups, that make us nervous, that make us laugh.

Some of you have confessed of the hardship of coming out. One reader told me that he never succumbed to the temptations of gay sex, and now that he’s 66 years old, he has decided to just let things be, and focus on taking care of his 96-year old mother. Some closets are made for forever, and we cannot pass judgement on why others can come out while some can’t. Some letters expressed hopefulness, a solidarity of sort, a wish that one day others could also make the leap. Read the rest of this entry »

GMA's surprise visit during AKBAYAN's National Congress

So President GMA – Gloria Macapal Ayoko – paid AKBAYAN a suprise visit during the Opening Ceremonies of its 4th Regular National Congress and the launching of Risa Hontiveros’ senatorial bid. Below is the speech she delivered.

Senator Jovy Salonga; Senator Noynoy Aquino; Professor Randy David, my future opponent in the second district of Pampanga (sarcastic) good luck to you; members and officers of AKBAYAN na alam ko naman na ayaw nyo talaga sa akin; ladies and gentlemen, a pleasant (pause) hellooo.

For the longest time AKBAYAN especially your representatives in congress have been a pain the ass but I have found ways to get back at you guys. But past is past. Natutuwa ako dahil sa wakas ay natanggap na ng AKBAYAN that I am, after all, a great president. This opportunity to speak to you today is a concrete step towards national unity, reconciliation, beautification, glorification and evaporation. Salamat AKBAYAN at na-realize nyo na that I am not really guilty of any crime (winks).  Ang Hello Garci, NBN-ZTE at fertilizer scam ay mga minor lapse in judgment lamang. Very minor lang yan at wala naman talagang  malisya tulad ng pagpili kay Carlo Caparas bilang national artist at ang one million pesos na bill para sa dinner sa New York. In fact, kahit ang pagpunta ko dito ay lapse in judgement din. For this, please allow me to say (slowly) I am sorry.

Let me tell you that I am not looking forward to the senatorial candidacy of this Risa Hontiveros. Nasa kongreso palang siya, masakit na siya sa bangs. Pati ang statement of assets and liabilities ko pinakikialaman. Don’t get me wrong I have no ill feelings for this Risa Hontiveros. Its just that she is not my type. She represents everything that I am not. I have feeling she is my anti-matter. She is tall on virtues while I am short (pause) on everything. St. Scholastica siya noong high school, Assumption naman ako. Si Risa laging nakikiisa sa sambayanan, samantalang ako laging pinagkakaisahan ng sambayanan. Si Risa nakulong na, ako (teasing) hindi pa. Si Risa byuda, ako (pause) sana. FG I love you. At higit sa lahat, si Risa magsesenador na, ako naman magkokongresista.

But I have to give this Risa Hontiveros an A for persistence. Kahit binomba ng bumbero sa  mendiola, kahit hinuli ng mga pulis sa welcome rotonda at kahit tinggalan ko pa ng pork barrel ay hindi pa rin natitinag at tuloy parin ang paglaban sa akin. Risa Hontiveros kung sa mga SONA ko hindi ka nakikinig, pwes ngayon makinig ka. I have three words for you, (slowly) “I will never endorse you for senator in 2010.”

I, thank you.

*Speech was written by Percival Cendana, Deputy Secretary of AKBAYAN, a certain “Wilma Mae”, and Josel Gonzales, a salingkit in AKBAYAN’s Gay and Lesbian Collective. Photos by Marlon Cornelio of AKBAYAN-Youth.

Kaya pa daw tumakbo ni Erap. Nice. Mister President, I have some tips for you about running.

Get yourself a pair of good running shoes.   Never underestimate the importance of warm ups, otherwise the day after would be a complete disaster (no different from a night of sex without condoms or contraceptives).

Before running, drink lots of water. Tonic water, especially if mixed with vodka, is not counted. Breathe properly – shoulders lifted, upper chest expanded, and diaphragm nicely tucked in. This would be hard, since as an actor you’ve been trained to pant and grunt, and told that such skills are enough to win hordes of fans.

No English required. Actually, the ability to construct coherent statements are also useless, unless it is your habit to talk to yourself – it’s hard, believe me I’ve tried. But take note of useful words like Ped Xing. No, that’s not the name of your favorite Chinese crony, that’s where you cross, Mister President.

Find a good spot to jog. You might want to try Muntinlupa, Bicutan, or Tanay. Jog in place if you like, you might find that skill useful.

Also, try controlling your leering look. Maybe it’s age, or maybe it’s you, but it’s scary and makes you look suspicious – as if you have just robbed the people or that you’re about to commit some nasty sexual stunts.

If you are a beginner, you have to take it slow. Rein in your greed, este, your excitement. Oopss, that still didn’t come out right.

But who the hell cares? Nothing is right in this country anymore.

Nagpapakasaya, Willie? The word is not nagpapakasaya. I can think of numerous words and terms to describe what you are doing, or who you are. Opportunistic. Calloused. Vile. Deceptive. Un-Filipino.

Nagpapakasaya? You feel irritated because the live stream showing Cory Aquino’s wake is spoiling the fun. How can you provide entertainment to the public when death is being rammed down on everyone’s throat? Lunch time is for cheap entertainment – rice tastes better with Wowowee.

I will not even try to compare you with Cory Aquino, whose death – and its commemoration – you find ill-timed and inconvenient. Doing so would insult Cory. You callousness deserves a more apt comparison. The first is to a French Queen who, when when told that the people had no bread, responded, “let them eat cake”.  Incidentally, her head was chopped off when the revolution won.

But there is an even better comparison. There is another woman, one who, like you, sees giving false hopes and acts of opportunism as public service. You share the same character – you treat the people as a joke, and rake millions in the process.

The nation is not just mourning, Willie. We haven’t seen anything move the public for a long time, not after Garci or GMA. Despite grief, the nation has at least found an anchor to look for its soul. You may call it nostalgia, a melodrama, a wet blanket. For others, though, for most of us, this is called hope, and a deep yearning for it. Your show – and may I say you’re not even witty, because wit presupposes intelligence – can never encompass this emotion: your sense of humor is neither a replacement nor an equivalent of the mood of the people today.

So go ahead, have your fun. Your hubris is that one day,  you’ll find yourself sharing the same spot in history with the most unpopular, most unloved woman in the country today.

Just sharing a coming out article I wrote for the PDI’s Sunday Inquirer Magazine.

First Person: Smashing Closets, Opening Doors

I WAS a little brash when I came out. It happened in 1998, on my last year in UP Diliman, when I was madly in love with another gay man. It was unrequited, but love made it easier to smash the closet: I simply dropped the news to my college friends, then attended my first Pride March, and even managed to blurt out “Oh by the way, I am gay” during my talk for freshman orientation.

Coming out, I was euphoric and had complete disregard for what others would think. That year, I brought my first lover to a family reunion. We were discreet, and thought that nobody noticed. Nobody did, actually, except for one lola who, months later, showed the reunion pictures to my parents and said, “Yan ang boyfriend ng anak n’yo! (That’s your son’s boyfriend!)” Read the rest of this entry »

Photo from www.gmanews.tv

The first time I sided with Cory Aquino was when I was in grade school. It was, I suppose, at the height of the snap elections. Maricon, the granddaughter of our school’s principal and my Grade 2 classmate, came to me one day in our school playground and tried to bully us to do the Marcos’ V sign.

I didn’t like her. Wiry hair, frail, pale, and an unforgivable name. A brat, too. So I defied her, told her “na Laban ako”, flashing the L sign, all of which – the labels, the gestures – actually meant nothing. I merely picked them up from grown ups. Already a Marcos loyalist, Maricon said she’s not inviting me to her birthday party. Read the rest of this entry »

The people walking on the street suddenly stopped, their faces darkening – here a tear or a whimper, there a sigh – and then the act itself. At the sight of a familiar nape, or at the prodding of a distant scent or the notes of a song once shared, the heart is wrenched out of the one’s soul, gravity becoming its long-lost lover, shattering on busy pavements, in the middle of the city, inside an empty church, in front of a portrait, or even when one is high.

The act repeats itself, a testimony to the truth that we have more than one heart, and the best argument why we can’t spare that many.